I went to a wedding dinner last night. Saw my cousin, Joy(Choo, not Loh) for the first time in a few years. When i saw her i was like... WOOAAHH!!!! She was CUTE with a Capital C!!!! Her face, though it looked more or less similar to the last time i saw her, looked much cuter. She had a cuter hair style, and was wearing a VERY nice dress. I never knew my cousin was this cute. Song bo.

Ok... its the end of the year, and time for us to look back at 2003 and see what we can learn from it.

Britney Spears
- Are you a young female popstar, who's life is a mess after a breakup with your boyfriend, your last album flopped, can't seem to sing for nuts, and people just don't like you anymore? Well, here's the solution for you! Pose half naked with nothing but jewelry and panties, then kiss a old female popstar whose music career is also dying. After that, release your album full of dance tracks, with a song with the same aging popstar you kissed. A surefire way to get back into the limelight, and sell albums.

Christina Aguilera
- Are you a young female popstar, whose albums are selling well and have a great voice? Want to lose the respect of most of your fans? Well, just dye your hair in stupid colours, have stupid hairstyles and wear extremely slutty, skimpy outfits when you go on stage to sing or to award ceremonys. That way, the press can have a field day talking crap about you. Of course its safe, because of your powerful voice, people will still buy your albums.

Iraq War
- Do you have an enemy that hate to the core who tries to kill you at times? If you're the most powerful country in the world, you don't even need a valid reason to attack that country. Just make up some strange excuse about that country having something like weapons of mass destruction(which the country wishes it has, but does not have), convince all your allies to back you up(by offering countries which are small red dots Free Trade Agreements), and make sure you have another superpower backing you, whose Prime Minister *cough*Blair*cough* is willing to jump off the bridge should you feel like it. UN don't like it? Don't matter. Justice is all that matters.

Andrea & Pierre, Liver Transplant
- Want to know how you can gain the sympathy of the press if you're a celebrity? If you happen to need a liver transplant, hope that your boyfriend(if you're male, then girlfriend), can pass part of his to you. Then do an extremely high profile transplant, with plenty of crying. Everyone(including me) will sympathize with you, and love the both you and your spouse equally much.

Andrea & Pierre, Court Case
- Now that you have gained the sympathy and love of the general public, want to know how to lose all that respect, sympathy and love in a month? Easy. Just sue your very good friend, whom you were very close to in the past, for selling you the slimming pills which you yourself asked for a few months back. During a high profile court case, keep fainting(real faints. fake ones don't cut it. makes it easier if you have a new liver). Have various popular celebrities, like Chew Chor Meng, defend the very good friend you are suing. After that, lose that court case to the very good friend. You are guarenteed to lose the respect, love and sympathy of many of your fans.

Sars Arrival
- Ahh.. a new disease is in town. What is the best way to show that Singaporeans are among the most kiasu(cannot lose) and kiasi(scared to die) people in the world? Easy. Just publically shun all the health workers that are risking their lives to save yours. Don't pick them up in taxis. Threaten them. Give them dirty looks. Curse them for comming near you. Buy up all the masks possible. Before long, the newspapers will show us as one of the most inconsiderate, ungrateful people around.

Sars Aftermath
- Now that the disease has been brought under control, what is another way to show how stupid and inconsiderate we are? Sneak into hospitals using recycling temperature stickers(sigh. who wants to waste 5 seconds taking your temperature?) Scream at doctors, nurses and receptionists when they refuse to let a whole bunch of you and your into the hospital because of the risk of Sars. Make a big fuss about privacy when you have to give your particulars for contact tracing. Easy to be inconsiderate.

Shankar Aiya Molest Case
- Are you a respected News presenter? What's a good way to lose that respect, and a ton of money? Just bring a girl home, strip her naked while she's drunk, then when she accuses you of molest, just lie about everything in court. You'll definitely lose everything. Better still, have The Morning Express guys Glenn and Rod do a song for you :

Lyrics for Hot In Here by Nelly

Rod : So you at the party. What were you doing there?

I was like, good gracious ass bodacious
Flirtatcious, tryin to show patience
Lookin for the right time to shoot my steam (you know)
Lookin for the right time to flash them keys

Rod : You were about to leave the party. What did you say to her?

Then um I'm leavin, please believin
Me and the rest of my heathens
Check it, got it locked at the top of the four seasons
Penthouse, roof top, birds I feedin

Rod : It was said that you were intoxcicated. What did you say to her on the taxi ride home?

No deceivin, nothin up my sleeve, no teasin
I need you to get up up on the dance floor
Give that man what he askin for
Cuz I feel like bustin loose and I feel like touchin you
And cant nobody stop the juice so baby tell me whats the use

Rod : So you have reached home. What did she say?

Its getting hot in here
So Hot

Rod : So what did you say?

So take off all your clothes

Rod : And what happened?

I am getting so hot i'm gonna take my clothes off

Rod : Order! Order in the court!

*Disclaimer : Shakar Aiya being guilty is because of the judge's decision, not mine. i'm just taking it as the judge is correct.

Pastor/Reverend/Music Director/Singer/Actress Ho Yeow Sun
- Are you a popular, high ranking church goer, who's the wife of a pastor, and want to know how you can anger/irritate the many Christians in Singapore(and some in your church)? Just wear a revealing, red dress to some premiere of some weird show, and you'll have angry letters running into the Straits Times in no time at all. Guarenteed.

Singapore Soccer Team
- The Singapore Soccer team has just lost once again to a country nobody knows. People have been writing in to the Newspapers that we should send our soccer team overseas, or at least invite quality opposition to come and play them, like our neighbors Malaysia and Thailand. Only then can we improve, and maybe even win the Tiger Cup. What is a sure way for the Football Association of Singapore to make the people more disappointed and angry? Just arrange for more crappy teams from countries no one has heard off, much less able to put on the map(the only reason many people knew the Maldives was because Survivor was held there). Then talk a whole bunch of crap on how the national soccer team needs to play more quality opposition(which EVERYONE has been saying for ages) when you get kicked out of the qualifying rounds of the Sea Games and Asian Cup.

S-League, Penalties
- People have complained the the S-League is too boring. It needs spicing up. How, as the management of the S-League, can you lose even more respect of the fans and the people? Implement penalty shoot-outs to decide matches. When EVERYONE, the man on the street to the players to the fans to the coaches say its a bad idea because when it was implemented anywhere else, it failed, accuse people of not giving it a chance. When the season goes by, and the S-League gets even more boring because of this, admit that its a bad idea. But don't say sorry for not listening to the people. Just give a long, detailed explanation on why it didn't work(using all the reasons that EVERYONE gave at the beginning of the season).

Gigli, Bennifer
- Are you a popular actress or actor, who have many, many fans around the world. How do you dissapoint them? Make the WORST movie, which everyone said was a bad idea in the first place, with your boyfriend/girlfriend release it around the world and make huge losses.

Rio Ferdinand
- Do you happen to be a millionaire footballer who broke the world transfer record for a defender? Would you like to have your trial go on for 3 months then get banned for 8 months and get the sympathy of a lot of Man U fans? Just forget to take a drugs test and go shopping for your new house. Easy.

Steve Chia
- Are you a Non-constituency MP, and looking to step down and lose the hard earned trust of your people? Take half naked photos of yourself and your maid, then somehow forgot to delete them from your computer. I guarentee you that you will step down within a week.

PM Goh, Lee Hsien Long Slapping Incident
- Lets say you become the Prime Minister of Singapore, and you want to test how stupid your citizens can be. Just tell a joke, which happens to be a rumour, like the son of Lee Kwan Yew slapping your foreign minister, during a national day speech. Then, say how creative your citizens are in comming up with that story. If your citizens happen to be smart, they will know that you are in fact joking because you said that your citizens were creative to come up with that story. However, your citizens may be stupid, and thinking that you are in fact confirming that story, thus making a whole controversy in the press about Lee Hsien Long's methods, cos he may become the next prime minister.

phew, that's a long list of stuff. very long list. i can't believe i wrote all that. if i think of even more important news that happened in 2003, i'll post it here. if you think of some, just tell me.

Behold, Ho Yeow Sun has done Singapore proud. I have posted lots about this woman lately, but this time its positive. Her single, Where Did The Love Go, released in the US, has reached NUMBER ONE, NUMERO UNO, on the Billboard's Hot Club Dance Play chart, above Madonna and Kelly Clarkson. Surprise, surprise. I am now pretty impressed with this woman. Reaching Number 1 in the US is no easy feat. Even if it isn't on the official Billboard Dance chart.

Then again, a Dance track isn't something you'd normally associate with a Pastor(ok, not pastor, Church Music Director), but hey, its a good job nontheless.

Some french children's author, Frank Le Calvez, plants to sue Disney, saying that many characters in the US giant's hit cartoon, Finding Nemo, looks very much like those from a book that he published last year, Pierrot the Clown Fish. He say characters such as the surgeon fish and cleaner shrimp look similar.

I have one question for him.

How many ways can you draw a clown fish? So far, i can only think of one way... which is to draw it LIKE WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!!! How different can TWO CLOWN FISHES LOOK FROM EACH OTHER????

Sicily Man Arranges Shooting to Woo Woman

A man in Sicily asked a friend to shoot him in the groin in the hope of making his ex-girlfriend feel sorry for him, police said on Friday.

Hmm... A rather Sickily man, isn't it? He definitely had the balls to do something like that! I think he'll be shooting blanks for the rest of his life! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!11

The Who's Townshend Mulled Suicide Over Child Porn

British rock legend Pete Townshend contemplated suicide during a police inquiry into his use of child pornography, he said in an interview published on Sunday.

Townshend, who said he was abused as a child, publicly admitted viewing child pornography but said it was purely for research purposes.

Surfing child pornography for 'research purposes'? That's a first. Wonder what he was researching?

"I'm not sexually attracted to children," he said in the interview.

Ah... so he's not sexually attracted to children, and actually PAID with his credit card(heard this on channel i news) to access a child pornography site. Purely for research purposes.

He has got to be kidding. AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!111

You know, i forgot to put up a quote. I watched Seabiscuit last week, and i'm going to buy the VCD. I love movies like Seabiscuit. Inspiring, entertaining, without the violence and sex. Behold, the quote which i find so wonderful :

You don't throw a whole life away... just because it's banged up a little.

Ahhh.. the pitfalls of updating a few times a day.

See, right now i am enjoying my last week of my holidays before i go back to school. Now, for the past few months, i have first been at FYPJ, my final year project, where i played CM4 6 hours a day, surfed the net for 2 hours and programmed for half an hour. During that time, i had plenty of time to blog, as i was extremely bored.

After a few months of my FYPJ, I then went on for my Industrial Attachment. It was there that i surfed the net 7 hours a day and programmed 1 hour, with a few exceptions a week where i actually programmed more than 6 hours. During that time, i was also ultra bored, thus the ability to surf the net for long hours at a time, and finding plenty of interesting stories, pictures and videos to share with the lot of you. And of course, news on Singapore to comment.

Now, after i quit my job last week, i had the computer to myself at home. I could watch TV, read novels, play Gunbound, CM4, Fifa2004. During this time, i read less and less of the news, usually skimming the surface of the Straits Times. In the past, i would read in detail TODAY and STREATS newspapers on the way to work, thus finding various bits of news to comment on. After lunch, i had The New Paper to comment on.

With only the Straits Times to read, and not even in detail, i didn't find much interesting stories for me to comment on. As often. Therefore, i am unable to blog as often as before. But, i believe, that as i go back to school, i will start reading the newspapers again, and soon start to blog more often. Next week, that is.


Anyway, there is an interesting bit of news that's been going around Singapore. Its the latest talk of the town. What is it? Non-constituency MP Steve Chia, being reported by his wife to the police. What did he do? He took photos of him and his maid in their underwear(his wife reported it to be nude, but apparently not). And he has stepped down from his position in the Government.

Ok. What can we learn from all this? This : If you want to frolic naked, or half naked with your young and beautiful maid, please DO NOT take pictures of it. And, if you do take pictures, please destroy them or delete them from your computer before your wife gets to it. Or you will FEEL IT!

Those that know me know that i'm a BIG fan of American Idol. I have both the debut albums of Clay Aiken(may he live forever) and Kelly Clarkson(she doesn't need to live forever. Clay is better). Its taken them 3 years, but finally, after so long, (according to 8 days magazine, a TABLOID, you decide how reliable it is) Singapore Idol is comming! Auditions are starting, and soon, we will get to vote for who we want to be Singapore Idol!

Now, there are many skeptics out there, who are going to say that this show is going to flop, that Singaporeans have no talent, that it will be ultra sad. But hey, to me, its about time they did it. There are plenty of talented people here, and now that its Singapore Idol, we won't have judges we don't know or care about choosing the winner. There were a lot of unhappy people when Cherry Chocolate Candy won Talent Time(they are now CCCrush, who actually can SING and got Da Groove. Quite impressive). I, like most of Singapore, thought that Triple Noize shoudl have won.

But now... WE CAN DECIDE!!! We, The People, can decide who will win Singapore Idol.

Ahh... i am so looking forward to it....

The picture says it all.

Ahhh... twas the day after Christmas... Boxing day... always wondered why they call Boxing Day that. So, I searched the net, trying to find the origin of Boxing Day. After searching for a while, i found many versions. Some said it was because the nobles in England would box up their Christmas leftovers and give it to their servants. Others said that it was the day that people open the boxes, i.e. Christmas presents.

I say its the day that people want to box me cos i didn't give anybody any presents.

Merry Christmas people! The selfish twit that i am, i have bought nobody any presents, neither have i written anybody any cards. I sincerely apologise for my selfishness and forgetfulness, and i hope that next year i will be hardworking and unselfish enough to actually give people something, card or present. But till then, all i can say is that Merry Christmas, people! God bless!

How to become an obnoxious internet cam whore in five easy steps

This has got to be the BEST guide to being an internet cam whore i have EVER seen in my life!!11

A PVP CHRISTMAS

I love the online comic pvponline.com. This is their christmas special. Quite interesting.

Imagine my horror when i read this news headline on football365.com :

POLICE SEARCH FOR MARADONA'S MISSING PENIS

Ahh.. how i have missed reading the Forum pages of the Straits Times. So much blog material right there. The huge discussion on babies has resurfaced for the 7619752th time in the forum pages. There are people suggesting that the government give even MORE incentives for people to have babies. Lower the maid levy. Provide cheaper childcare services. More tax relief. More money. More benefits. To add on to what the government has already done for us.

And today, there are a few letters i agree with. These letters ask : Whose responsibility is it to care for the child? The parent's, or the governments? The way the past letters have been written, its almost as if they want the government to pay for the upbringing of the child. Which should never be the case. The responsibility of bringing up a child, both financially and emotionally, is the parent's. Not the government. It doesn't make sense to have a kid, and then ask the government to pay for your kid.

I believe that the majority people who want to have kids will have kids when they're financially, emotionally and spiritually ready. Those that don't, won't. Regardless or how many incentives the government gives.

Now that i'm at home, i read the straits times instead of STREATS and TODAY. And part of the Straits Times is the forum pages. In the forum pages today, there are a few people writing in about learning of Chinese. They want to make chinese optional, as they say that just because you are chinese doesn't mean you need to know chinese. That we may be forcing our kids to learn chinese, when that time may be spent mastering other things they are good at and interested in like science and maths.

Ok, this is from a person that failed chinese throughout secondary school, and only got a C6 for my O levels. See, i believe that chinese should NEVER be optional. One person who wrote in gave the example of African Americans in the US don't need to know their african languages. Well... that may be so, but wouldn't it be BETTER if they DID know their african languages? I'm not one to be interested in culture, chinese or otherwise, but i believe that it is important no matter what. Making chinese optional would probably result in 70% of people not taking chinese, and not knowing how to speak chinese. And to me, that'll be just sad.

You know which man has the best job in the world? its the head of the Morality Police in malaysia. What do they do? Their job is to peep on unmarried couples having sex, take pictures of them, then prosecute them in court. He says that he finds no joy in this job. Yes, i'm sure spying on nekkid couples having sex is so horrendously terrible for him. I have pity on him. The malaysian government has given them the right to peek on ANY couple, whether they've having sex or not, to determine if they are violating the moral law. So its like legal voyuerism. And if they get caught peeping on people having sex, the government backs them. What a wonderful job.

Have you heard of the NUS high school? Its a new school opening in Singapore, where they accept students after their PSLE, put them on a 6 year course, bypassing both the O and A levels, then get a diploma at the age of 18. Interesting, eh? It will be a diploma in Mathematics and Science. So basically, if you do well enough at PSLE in your Maths and Science, they will allow you into this course, and your direction in life will be decided at the tender age of 12 years old. Cool, huh? at 12, you get to decide what you're going to do for the rest of your life. At 12 all i bothered about was going to the arcade, watching TV and chatting. I got an A star for my science, and an A for my maths. I probably could have applied for that diploma. But then, i hated maths when i went to secondary school, and didn't get above a C5 for any science for my Os. Which meant that my maths and science sucked in the end. Which meant i would probably have done badly if i went there.

What am i saying? i'm saying its utterly ridiculous to decide a child's future at 12. What's next? Putting them on a 10 year masters course after graduating from kindergarden and bypassing the PSLE, Os and As?

In the Straights Times today, some people are also having something The Quest. They run around the island, Amazing Race style using only MRT and Bus, completing tasks. They do this to promote saying no to drugs or something.

I say they are COPY CATS! UNORIGINAL! They just copy our Seventh Day Adventist Church camp. We have been doing Survivor and Amazing Race style camps for years. And now they call it exactly the same thing we called ours. The Quest. Sigh. Evil.

Roooooben studdard is number 1 on the album charts. He sold 400,000 cds.
Clay Aiken sold 600,000 cds.

Both in the first week. I'm quite impressed with Rooooooben. Not bad for a American Idol winner who is obviously less popular than Clay Aiken.

Behold, i have quit my job to enjoy the last week of my holidays. Expect the updates to come very slowly now. hehe. I have yet to read the newspaper, so i can't say much. maybe after i read it later i'll have something to say....

Google Fight

Basically, enter in two words and see which one wins.

e.g.

Singapore vs Malaysia, and...

Singapore : 13 100 000 results

Malaysia : 9 830 000 results

Singapore wins!

How about...

Christon(me) vs Orlando Bloom

Christon : 12 900 results

Orlando Bloom : 1 510 000 results

Talk about being 0wn3d...

Its proven. Women are getting bigger. They have grown bigger and bustier, as well as losing their waistlines over the past few years. People strip and go into booths where a machine measures them. Hmmm.... i wonder which 3000 people they surveyed to conclude this? But then, even studies in England show that women are getting bigger breasts. girls in Singapore don't seem to be getting bustier and have smaller waists... maybe Japanese girls are. Oh wait... they're models that went for a boob job and got breasts bigger than their head.

Of course, remember that this reported by THE NEW PAPER, and there are no universities mentioned in the article at all.

I just read in STREATS that a top US woman boss just lost her Kraft CEO job. She was pretty cheesed off.
AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

P}{3@R Michael Jackson

I have nominated myself in Asia Weblog Awards 2003. I know. Buay Hao Bai. Thick skin. But i don't care. And now i'm shamelessly tellling you to go vote for me so that i'm not last. So please, please, please go vote for me. If you do, i'll give you a total refund on the amount of money you paid to see this blog. Ok, i'll refund you 5 times the total money you spent on my blog, PLUS you get to have the title of Ultra Important Super Powerful. So, how about it?

Vote for me in the Asia Weblog Awards 2003 Funniest Blog!

I'm Kababoom!

Quick, go vote now!

Behold, a 'New Sport'.

Now, we all know American Football. The NFL. An exciting league, an exciting game. Full of testosterone(hope i spelled it right). So, some people decided to add a little female element in it. Good Bye Superbowl. HELLOOOOO Lingerie Bowl

Ahh... but what is it exactly?

In what is billed as the first annual Lingerie Bowl, model/actresses will play a 7-on-7 "tackle'' football game in their underwear during halftime of the Super Bowl. The Lingerie Bowl website shows the two squads, Team Euphoria and Team Dream, wearing "uniforms" of matching lace-trimmed bras, panties and garters, with the players' numbers sewn over the left bra cups. Former Sports Illustrated swimsuit babe and ex-Sylvester Stallone fiancé Angie Everhart is the captain of one team. Model/actress Nikki Ziering captains the other.

So basically, a team of 7 lingerie model/actresses will play American Football IN LACY LINGERIE!!!!!111 They'll be like TACKLING each other, pushing and pulling, pilling on top of each other.... Its like a dream come true! You know who's the luckiest man in the world? The COACH of the Lingerie Football team! He gets to TRAIN them!!!!

The reporter went to a practice session, and guess what one girl said :

"Could you turn around and look back at me over your shoulder?" one photographer asked a player. She refused, telling him, "I don't show my ass."

What does the reporter say in his article after that comment?

Well, of course not. She may play football in her underwear on national TV, but she has standards.

What do some of the models/actresses who will be playing this game think?

"I'm no more self-conscious playing in my underwear than I would be playing in my sweats," Ziering said. "Should I be self-conscious?" She paused. "I guess I should. But that's just me. That's what I do".

What do some of the coaches say?

"It's all about having good, clean fun," Lawrence Taylor said. "There are 250,000 channels, and we have to give people an alternative to watch."

Yes, good clean fun. No, we can't get cleaner than girls in Lingerie running around and tackling each other! Ahhh... look out for some hair pulling and, (hopefully) CLOTHES TEARING!!!!!

I'm moving to America!

Kidding. I would not submit my mind to entertainment that degrades women, causes lust and stoops so low so as to bring in the people.

*crosses fingers*

I got meself a new Starhub handphone plan. One that gives me FREE INCOMMING CALLS! not that people call me a lot, but its nice knowing that if they do, i don't have to pay:)

But one problem with getting a new line is that i gotta transfer all my numbers into the new sim card. Which took me 45 minutes. So troublesome. Waste my time. But hey, i got FREE INCOMMING CALLS for the first time in my life!

No updates yesterday because, as faith said, i was staying over at her place playing PS2. And the game that i found VERY fun was Slam Tennis. i was never a fan of tennis, but when you play with another person, and start to actually play WELL and co-operate, it becomes ultra fun. Me and my friends will PWN j00 ALL at Slam Tennis!

'Bored' Teens Rack Up $160 Million Internet Bill

Three German teenagers were being investigated for fraud Friday after they spent 130 million euros ($160 million) in a two-hour Internet shopping spree because they were "bored," authorities said Friday.
The 19-year-olds splashed out on light aircraft, patents, industrial machinery, restaurants and artwork after hacking into an account on an Internet auction site.

Scary. Very scary. 130 Million Euros??????

Breasts. Big breasts on women are supposedly more sexy, makes them hotter. Which is why many women go for a boob job. Now, i don't really care about the size of breasts on women. To quote Rod, "Anything more than a handful is wasted". However, if you do go for a boob job, and make em bigger, do not do what these two girls did. Now, the breasts may very well be natural, but i am a little bit skeptical that breasts can get that big on their own.




There is such a thing as being out of proportion. Breasts this big do NOT make girls look good. They make them look like freaks.

And i forgot to mention. For those not in the know...

SADDAM HAS BEEN CAPTURED!!!! ALIVE!!!111

Yah. So he'll probably be executed, after a trial that goes on for months, during this time he'll be enjoying himself in jail with free food, clothes, loding much better than what he has been experiencing when on the run from Bush. Interesting....

How Not to Get Fired Because of Your Blog

I have never read Blogger Help before. But they have some good stuff. Like teaching you not not to get fired because of your blog. For example, they reccomend the Web Escape. its a button on your blog that forwards you to a fake word processor or 'safe' website.

Also reccomended is not to state the date and time of your blogging.

Remember too that your blog posts are arranged by date and time. So it is very easy for anyone reading your blog to discover that you were posting at 10:23 AM on Monday when you were supposed to working on your TPS report. Here’s a tip: change the time of your posts.

Quite cool. I now love Blogger even more. By the way, Blogger is the free server i use for my blog.

Another cool thing : What to do if your Mom discovers your blog...

I have also another suggestion on how to improve Singapore's birth rate, which is declining(see Friday's post). Now, let us take a look at third world countries such as Cambodia. They are poorer than us. Much poorer. They are unable to have kids. Another kid is another mouth to feed, and they are already struggling with no money. So why do they have so many kids, up to 5 per person? its because they have NO TV AND INTERNET! See, at night, with no TV or Internet, the couples have nothing to do. And when you get bored, and there's no TV to watch and internet to surf, you WILL have sex with your spouse. Cos there's nothing else to do. And they can't afford birth control.

Sooooo.. what the government should do is this : For one week every month, they should shut down the TV Networks, and cut off all access to Internet from the homes. This will force people to have sex. During that week, withdraw all condoms/birth control pills from all shops. People will probably stock up condoms before that week, but knowing Singaporeans, there WILL be people who forget to buy them. There will probably be a black market selling condoms at crazy prices during that week, but i believe there will be sufficent forgetful, horny people that will produce the babies that Singapore needs to desperately:)

Reading my favourite Newspaper once again, The New Paper.

Criminals and Bad People, listen up. In the city of Belgrade(i know where it is, cos Patizan Belgrade was the team that KNOCKED NEWCASTLE OUT OF THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE!!!111), a man charged with drink driving was dismissed without being charged. Why? The City Attorney, William Spooner, says and i quote :

"I've been directed by the mayer and the police chief of the city of Belgrade to dismiss this complaint for the reason that the police department's budget is insufficient to allow them to pursue further criminal prosecution"

Now, is that cool or what?

Singapore is likely to hit the lowest birth rate in 26 years. Singapore needs at least 50,000 births a year to sustain its population and avoid being an aging population(or something like that. i dropped Geography in secondary school). kinda like when the baby boomers(the current work force) become old, and there are too few youngsters to support them, or the Singapore economy.

Currently, there are only 33,618 babies born this year. Which is a huge shortage. Soon we're going to be extinct. I don't think the reason is that Singaporeans are not having enough sex(althought that may be part of it. Singaporeans ranked LAST. not among the bottom. LAST in the world for frequency of sex.). Its more of babies are so expensive. They are just too expensive to have. And honestly, the state the Singapore economy is right now, many young couples are already having trouble paying off their house, car, furniture, electrical appliances, renovation etc etc loans. A baby? that's the last thing on their minds. A month or so ago an article appeared in the Straights Times saying that many DINK(Dual Income No Kids) couples, living in the Punggol/Sengkang area(*cought*faith*cough*) are heavily in dept, and are struggling to pay off all the loans i have mentioned earlier. They will not be able to afford a kid, not to mention 2 or 3. There are exceptions, but not enough to maintain Singapore's population.

EDIT - My solution to the problem has been edited out due to the joke being in bad taste. To all who have taken offence to it while it was up, i am truely sorry.

Advertising Mistake

This is an advertising mistake like no other. Apparently this is what happened :

The advertisement includes the sentence "CC Hates the Jews" in large, bold letters.

According to ADVO, the company that printed the advertisement, a graphic artist working on the ad had left his desk for a moment, and a co-worker with the initials C.C. changed the text on the ad.

The graphic artist didn't notice the change and the ad went to print.

Looks like today's the day for printing mistakes:)

Noh Alam Shah, Singaporean Soccer Striker, believes that Singapore soccer is on the upswing. It is on the way up, he says. It is improving. Now, i respect Noh Alam Shah. He's a great striker and all, but if you are trying to tell me that Singapore is on the up after losing to Qatar, Myammar, Malaysia, Taiwan, etc etc etc. In fact, the last match Singapore won was against the Maldives and Palestine. Two teams that consist of part-time teachers, lawyers, etc. Singapore Soccer is NOT on the way up. It is going DOWN. Unless something drastic is done soon.

TODAY has taught me that Survivor : Pearl Islands is really the beginning of Star Wars.

Behold, a dictator worse than Saddam. Worse than Hitler. Worse than Stalin.

P}{3@r M3!!!!!1111one!!!11
http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=christondom

In China, according to STREATS, they have done a survey on domestic violence. Apparently, 38.4% of men resort of violence to settle domestic conflicts. In other words, they whack up their wives. But what is scary is this. Most of the people, both men AND women, think there's no problem with it. Somebody save them.

The Bachelor breaks up. The third one in a row. Makes me wonder why they still do The Bachelor even though its proven that the realtionship doesn't work out. Wait... its reality TV. Its entertaining. Who cares if they break up or not. Its entertaining to watch 25 women throw themselves at a rich man, and watch that man grope them all, plus the cat fights and biknis. Ah, well. It will continue to bring in money. So they will continue to show it. The Bachelorette has not broke up yet, though. Possibly due to the fact that the man is not marrying for money, cos she is not rich. But then, its still early....

Two funny pics i found...

Not so much here in Singapore, where we're all Asians, but in America...



Microsoft Own3d.

Mac OS 8 Installation

(psst... it can be alt-tabed out of. file->quit to exit. I think this link is pretty cool.)

Everyone go and vote for Mr Brown as Singapore's Best Blog!

Click here to vote

Who is Mr Brown? he is, in my opinion, the BEST satirist EVER. If its anyone who deserves to win it, its Mr Brown.

Here's his Website

THE CAMP PHOTOS ARE UP! THE CAMP PHOTOS ARE UP! THE CAMP PHOTOS ARE UP!!!!!!

California Thief Steals Playboy Nude Watercolor

A thief steals a playboy nude watercolor. But what's so special about that?(besides the fact that its a NUDE PLAYBOY WATERCOLOR)? this.

The thief walked into a gallery in the town of Larkspur, north of San Francisco, on Sunday afternoon and set his eyes on a January 1960 painting by pin-up artist Alberto Vargas. He grabbed the watercolor from an easel and then escaped even though the gallery owner chased him down the street.

Hmm... am i losing my touch? Have i lost the ability to find interesting news to talk about? Have i lost the Art of Complaining? maybe. or it could just be that today is a very boring day without much interesting news. To me, at least.

Vocaluptous(however you spell that) is currently on Class 95. They can sing. And i mean THEY CAN SING! I have full respect for them. They make the Backstreet Boys sound like a bunch of toads. Or like Glenn & Rod call em, the Backside Boys. I am so gonna buy the Vocaluptous CD. But i still like the Backstreet Boys. Cos i like boybands. So sue me. I like anyone that sings good ballads. But Vocaluptous pwnz everyone else. Everyone go out and buy their CD NOW! its for a good cause. now if only i can remember what good cause...

Its just too bad their only Voluptous(however you spell that. you know what i mean) member has left. People who know them and me and her should know who i'm talking about. hehe.

You never appreciate a bed until you sleep on the floor/bumpy bench of a monorial station. I pride myself in never needing a blanket. Until that fateful day when during the Youth Camp last weekend. When our tents got totally soaked(along with all my clothes. I am really thankful that my diskman was kept with all the other valuables), we were forced to find alternative shelter. And the only place was the monorial station. So we all grabbed our sleeping bags(which i didn't have) and went to sleep at the monorial station(i slept early, the weakling that i am). I could not bring my pillow, which was soaked(thanks to the rain). The clothes i was wearing was very wet(thanks to the rain) and ALL my other clothes were wet too. So, with wet clothes, no pillow, no sleeping bag(there were two, but i didn't want to share it cos my wet clothes would wet it) i slept at the monorial station. And i was cold. Very cold. My clothes did not dry until about 4+ am. If there was ever a time i needed a blanket, it was then. And i don't think i was the only one, too. Cos my good friend Edwin(Munjen) was sitting up, then lying down again like every hour or something. And he would put his hood over his head everytime he sits up and lean on the railing. The coldness. I never needed a blanket till that day. Never.

Behold, i am back from camp! Had lots of fun at the church camp, even though we had to sleep in tents. The tents may not be that enjoyable, but the experience of sleeping in them, as well as in the monorial station would not be forgotten easily. And i mean that in a good way.

The Star Awards had its share of weird hairstyle and clothes. There was a big hoo-ha over Jacelyn Tay's 'transparent' dress, which was really only translucent, which did not look that great anyway, cos nothing much could be seen except for the shadow of her legs, which didn't look that great anyway.

I have found a sport that Brian(Sideburnz) would excel at.

Chessboxing

Brian would first whoop them in chess, than bash the lights out of them in the boxing ring.

Microsoft's Bill Gates gets 0VVn3d. (right click, save target as)

Behold, Bill Gates gets a taste of his own medicine!

Pai Seh is when you sit way back, at the top of the Singapore Conference Hall with a whole bunch of friends. Then you get called to come down by an usher. Then the Speaker Himself mentions you and your friends, asking you to come down. And everyone turns to watch you walk down the stairs to sit below.

Limpbiskit(however you call it) has been called Wimp-biskit by Mr Brown in his TODAY article today. Not in Singapore? check out the online version here. Limpbiskit has cancelled their concert in Singapore over 'Security Fears'. Yes, Singapore is a very, very dangerous country. |>}{3@r t3h Singaporean. For we are |>}{3@r3|) all over the world.

I have learnt 2 things today.

1: Eating half of a cylinder of Hot and Spicy Pringles on an empty stomach does not make you full. Rather, it make your stomach feel rather weird. And you're still hungry.

2: Fiona Xie looks much better than Steph Song in a bikini. Especially in that pink lacy bikini in 8 days this week... *drools* *slaps self* I don't lust.

Whopee do. The Singapore Soccer Team has been kicked out of the SEA Games QUALIFIERS. Not even the quaterfinals. the QUALIFIERS. for the SEA GAMES!!!!! then again, we lost to Malaysia 2-0 again, so i'm not surprised.

Finally caught the final episode of Holland V yesterday(which i took off to submit a document to CMPB, but instead played Gunbound the whole morning, and reached CMPB at 3:40, only to find out that they stop accepting documents/medicals at 3:30, therefore making me have to rush down at lunch today and rush back to work after submitting the document. Gunbound is evil.). I am utterly impressed with the acting of Chen Liping(Wan Wan) and Xie Shaoguang(Yang Xiong). These two are past their prime(eye candy-wise). But their romance in the show was definitely the best. The chemistry is undeniable. Their acting supreme. These two are now my favourite TV couple. All together now.... "Xiaowan!!!!"

Nobody, and i mean NOBODY can update their blog as much as me. And that is because NOBODY has as slack a job as me:P

Uhh... no offence to women for the following statements, but i think they're funny. NO OFFENCE!

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
-------------------------
Why is the Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's just one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
---------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
--------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
--------------------
Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
----------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door, and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
---------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
-------------------------
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
----------------------
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
-----------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-----------------------
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
--------------------------
Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"
----------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
--------------------
A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything for days."
She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
---------------------
Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: "That happens in every country, son."
---------------------
A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: Wife Wanted.
The next day he received a hundred letter.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
-----------------------
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
----------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they look good.

Ok.... i think the females took offence. SORRY! hehe.

Let me quote Victoria Beckham on something right now. I just read this in The New Paper.

Ronaldo and Roberto Carlos are colleagues of my husband and that's all. Their meetings should be limited on the football pitch, training, away matches and the club on occasions. I don't want them in our zone because they might involve David in some dangerous outings.

Wait a minute... just how old is David Beckham again? uhh.. 28 years old, i believe? Dangerous outings? Talk about being a hen-pecked husband. Poor, poor Beckham.

Wanna see something COOL?

Sand Art (Right click, save target as)

This is freaking cool. That guy is AMAZING!

Apparently, according a a survey, holding hands and cuddling are rated more highly than sex.
Apparently, when both men and women were surveyed, 35% of men, as compared to 28% of women placed emotional intimacy as the highest priority.
19% of men, as compared to 27% of women listed sex as the most important thing in a relationship.

Interesting, ain't it? Women want sex more than men nowadays....

Heard Reuben Studdard's single, 'Sorry for 2004' on the radio. He has gone R&B. Very little pop in that song. Basically totally different from what he's been singing in American Idol. It makes sense, i guess. No way he can compete with Clay Aiken in the pop music area, cos Clay has obviously a much better voice. So he goes R&B. A smart move, cos that's today's most popular music. Is his music better or worse than what he sang during American Idol? no idea, cos i don't like R&B. Will he beat Clay on the charts? no way. Clay is much more popular. And i like Clay better. Bleh.

Station Burns Cash, Snubs Charity and Breast Job

A British radio station is under investigation after it burned 5,000 pounds ($8,600) rather than give it to charity -- or to a listener for her breast enlargement operation.

Sigh. Stuff that radio stations do these days.

Phillip's Rose, sequel to Thorn of the Kingdom, has been completed. Links on the left:)

The story continues on Tholly's son, Phillip. Set 16 years later. The next generation is grown and having to face their own hard choices between love and duty to their kingdoms.

Hmmm.... what's going to happen to Mr Derek at the upcomming Youth Camp, i wonder?



You have been warned, Mr Derek....

haha
Muahaha
Muahahahaha
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

Thai Man Stuck with His German Husband

A Thai man who masqueraded as a woman to wed a German man has failed to get the marriage annulled, and now seems saddled with his husband.
A German court dismissed the Thai's request for an annulment because same-sex marriages are not recognized in Germany, and therefore cannot be reversed.

"I don't know why they got married, whether it was love or the desire for a residence permit," said Ulrich Skwirblies, a spokesman for the court in the western town of Celle.

The 42-year-old Thai married the man in Denmark under a false name in 1994 and was later granted German residency.

Hmmm... so basically, he is recognised as married legally, as they were not the same sex when they married, but he cannot annul his marriage because the law does not recognise same-sex mariages. Reminds me of that U2 song, stuck in a moment you can't get out of.