Thursday, February 09, 2006

Bible IT

Good bible jokes are very rare... they're either sacrelegous(how do you spell that again?) or totally boring. But my friend found one hilarious one, and its an IT joke too! Considering i studied it in my polytechnic course, i totally got it.

http://www.reverendfun.com/?date=20040709

If only... if only that could help me debug my codes. Imagine the Programmer's Prayer :

Our Father who codes in Heaven, Hallowed be thy mainframe
Thy deadline comes, thy codes be done
On the the MAC is it is in the PC
And give us this day our disk overhead
And deliver us from erroneous data retrieval
For thine is the Pingdom, and the power source, and internet browser
4ev@ and 3v3r,
@m3|\|.

But anyway, i did take the above picture and made a few... what shall i call it... minor modifications. Bring it a little closer to home.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Backstreet's Back!

Backstreet's Back! They really are. Though i think they're ought to be more concerned about breaking their own backs while doing those fancy dance moves.

See, the other day(really long time back actually) my friend Brian and i got free tickets to go to the backstreet boys concert. Yup, yup... that's right, free tickets! And they were close to the stage, too! Them backstreet boys(backstreet old men if you ask me) were barely 5 metres away from us at times. But how, and why did we get those tickets in the first place?

Last year, many many months ago, one of my most valued friends had a birthday bash. She was turning the big THREE-OH, and so did a huge costume birthday party, in which many photos were taken. Click and take a look at the best birthday party i've ever attended. But hey, i'm getting off track here. See, for her birthday present, we decided to create for her a music video, where the bunch of us dressed up and sang a song we wrote specially for her. Of course, we did have a little fun while we were at it, and took plenty of photos.

Then, a while back, MTV Asia had a competition for the best Backstreet Boys Lookalike photo, the prize of which was Two Tickets plus special passes to a 'Meet and Greet' session! One of my good friends decided to submit our photos in, and to my amazement, we actually WON!!!













Not too bad a picture, if i say so myself! But good enough to win the competition? I seriously doubt it. Either we really ARE that hot, or MTV Asia is really that blind, or they had that few entries to make ours the best.

Or maybe all of the above.

But anyway, that was how we got our two tickets. Or was it two tickets? MTV Asia calls my friend back and tells him that we have won two tickets. Which was great, considering that most of my friends who took the photos don't even LIKE the backstreet boys to begin with. Some people, if given a free backstreet boys concert pass, would rather shred the thing than sell it. Stupid people. Anyway, i actually like backstreet boys music. Don't ask me why. I'm straight, but i like strange music and strange movies(like chick flicks) which guys aren't supposed to like.

Anyway, after some consideration, it was decided that my ticket would be given up to an actualy backstreet boys fan, a female friend of ours, who actually followed them around since primary school. Which is a long, long time ago. Ah... so i won't get to see the concert after all. No biggie.

Or not. See, MTV Asia, being MTV Asia, screwed up on the whole ticket thing. Telling us we had two tickets, when actually it was two tickets for the 'Meet and Greet', but FOUR tickets to the actualy concert itself. After finding that out, Brian calls me up(after the crappy 'Meet and Greet', where MTV Asia actually said that pictures could be taken and autographs signed. Bloody liars.) and tells me that there are more tickets! WOOOHHOOO!!! Which means i get to go after all!

So i make my way down, and wait until about 8:30 for the concert to start. All good. I bought a big gulp(small) for $3. I've never drank ice lemon tea any slower than i did that day. Every sip was worth 30 cents man. Strangely enough tasted the same as any other ice lemon tea. Stupid 7-11. I thought the big gulp was the same price, even if it WAS inside the indoor stadium. Cheat my money. No, i wasn't being naive and stupid to believe that i could have bought it for a normal price inside the indoor stadium. SHUT UP!!! I'M NOT STUPID!!! I'M SMART!!! I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU!!! LA LA LA LA

So we sat down, and the concert starts off with a bang. The backstreet old men came out, and started stamping their feet to their hit song The Call, and the whole stadium erupted in screams. Whoever said that the backstreet old men were dead and buried certainly has not been to one of their concerts. The place was packed with screaming girls(and the occational bored boyfriend, who would probably prefer getting his eyes pecked by crows than listen to the crap his girlfriend dragged him along for), all jumping up and down and singing along. The whole indoor stadium was PACKED. It was pratically full to the brim. And the girls were excited. Maybe crazy would be a better word. Scrambling to the front, they screamed their lungs out. My ears actually hurt. I thought i was in a torture chamber of some medieval castle or something. Crazy women.

But i did enjoy the concert, regardless. At the end of the day, i do like their music(I'm straight! I'm straight, I swear!), and i sang along to many of their songs. Sitting down on the stage was a fat black man, which i'm told is the bouncer to grab any over-enthusiastic fan should she(or a gay he) climb onto the stage. He looked bored to death(i actually thought he died, considering that he hadn't moved for more than 15 min), probably waiting for it to be over. But then again, i can think of worse jobs than sitting down waiting to grab and physically restrain the next crazy female fan who jumps onto the stage.

There were some interesting points of the concert. One was where one of the backstreet old men(i think it was Howie. could be wrong.) jumped down from the stage, and was apprehended by the staff, telling him to get back up the stage. Howie wagged his finger at the guy(i would think he'd rather give him the finger) and got back up. Another time, Brian jumped off the stage far right and actually succeeded in running up the steps to a bunch of screaming girls who were stampeding towards him and touch his hand. The staff only managed to stop him after say ten seconds, but by then the damage was done.

My female friend, Truddy, was definitely enjoying the concert more than me. She was screaming at the front of the backstreet old men, jumping up and down like a rabbit who drank a carton of red bull, and signing along. However, the most fun Brian and i had was not in singing the songs, or watching them dance. It was in noticing how much the backstreet old men have aged, and making fun of them. Them old men.

For comparison's sake, let us compare one of their first albums, with their latest album.





































All right, lets take a close look at them more than ten years ago and now. First good thing we see is that their hair is much, much better. I'm glad Kevin(the tall guy with the weird facial hair) shaved his head... and Nick got rid of his horrible hair. At first glance, they actually look better than they did many years ago. But we need to take a closer look to see for sure, because as we know, we can never trust album covers. Stupid photoshop editing changes everything.

One of the first thing Brian and i noticed was Nick Carter. When he came out and started to dance, we realised two things.

One : Nick Carter is very action. There is no one more action and more extra than Nick Carter. When every other backstreet old man is dancing in sync, the extra one is doing something stupid like raising his hand, trying to action with the band... He even tried to play the guitar, acting like he's very good, rolling on the floor and stuff. But in reality, he didn't play anything special, just the rhythm guitar. He acted like he was the lead guitarist. In NS, Nick Carter would be the bunk outcast. But here, the girls scream all the louder for him. I found it hilarious.

Two : Nick Carter is FAT. He has a POT BELLY. He has a HUGE BUTT. Everytime he started to do something extra, Brian and I would scream out BOTAK!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wanna compare and contrast? Here are two photos for you :







































Wahahahaha.... God bless the guy who took that photo of Nick Carter. WAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Another thing we noticed is that another backstreet boy, AJ, is losing his hair. He is BALDING. He is BOTAK. Notice how in the cover he is the ONLY backstreet old man wearing a cap in the never gone picture?




















Its beacuse he has too little hair. I saw it at the concert. It was HILARIOUS. We'd scream BOTAK everytime he sang. To really see his receding hairline, let me give you another recent picture of him, this time WITHOUT a hat...














Howie, as we noticed, is also super short. I thought the backstreet boys would be more imposing, you know? But Howie was so short, at times he had to stretch his neck to reach the mic stand!!! He was TOO SHORT for the MICROPHONE STAND!!! WAHAHAHAHA!!!!

But honestly, all in all, i'd say the backstreet boys have not lost their touch. They sang well, much better than they have in years. They danced well, and were good performers. I had a good time. That free ticket brought me much joy.

I wonder if their arthritis is acting up, though, after doing so much dancing...