Template for All Korean Dramas

I am a BIG fan of korean dramas. The girls are cute, the story is great, the endings are always sweet. Well, most of them. There are those few that trick me into believing there's a happy ending, and then the girl dies from some terminal disease. Those stupid dramas make me want to break the disk, stomp it into dust then give it to my hamster to drink.

But anyway, I figured by now, that korean dramas, as much as I love them, seem to all follow a certain formula. Its somehow as if when its time to write the script for a new drama, they wear special suits and enter a high security room which holds the secret to making a successful drama. The writers then dust off the book, and read its wonderful template to making a good drama. I think I've figured out that template, which will sumarise 99.9% of korean dramas. If a korean drama you watched doesn't fit into this template, then well, its in that 0.01%. So there.

Korean Drama Template

Lets start off with.. characterisation. Or however you spell it. In your standard korean drama, there are always four characters :

1. The Leading Man : The Leading Man is usually rich. More often than not he has a high status, high qualifications, and smart. He usually starts off as an idiot. He is rude to the Leading Lady, unkind, and hates her from the start. But pretty soon he learns to see the Leading Lady's good points, and starts to like her. But he is often embarassed about it, and will never admit to liking her until the last few episodes. However, during this process he will like another girl, whom I shall call Resident Bitch. He will like her from the start of the drama, and will keep going back to her whenever she calls. He is still emotionally attached to her, and will break the Leading Lady's heart a few times because of her. As the drama unfolds, he starts to become a nicer person, due to the Leading Lady's influence, and ends off the drama a wonderful man, who finally lets go of the Resident Bitch's heart and gives it wholly to the Leading Lady.
   
2. The Leading Lady : The Leading Lady is usually poorer and of lower status than the Leading Man. This is because everyone loves a rags to riches story, where a power man likes a girl who's deemed 'lower class' than him. She is a sweet, cheerful, wonderful girl who falls for the Leading Man early in the drama. However, her heart is consistently broken by the Leading Man, who, despite her obvious good points over the Resident Bitch, will keep going back to the Resident Bitch because he still likes the Resident Bitch. Throughout all this there is the Nice Guy who Finishes Last. The Nice Guy who Finishes Last will like the Leading Lady from the beginning of the drama, and the Leading Lady will often lead him on by giving him the wrong signals and turning to him for advice and support whenever the Leading Man hurts her emotionally. But at the end of the drama, the Leading Lady will always go back to the Leading Man, when he realises how stupid he has been and changes for the better, leaving The Nice Guy who Finishes Last, well... finishing last.
3. The Resident Bitch : Her sole role in a korean drama is to make EVERYONE hate her. She will be 'nice' to the Leading Man, but bitchy, mean and horrible to the Leading Lady, who more often than not takes her nonsense. She is whiny, needy and has the Leading Man around her little finger. She usually starts off the drama rejecting the Leading Man's love for her, but once the Leading Lady enters the picture, realises what she let go off and tries her darnest to get him back, stomping on the Leading Lady in the process. She usually ends up with nobody.
4. The Nice Guy who Finishes Last : The Nice Guy who Finishes Last is a staple in most dramas. He is named so because he always finishes last. He often starts off the drama liking the Leading Lady for who she is, but she doesn't like him cos she's in love with the Leading Man. He will then go on to be extremely nice to the Leading Lady, giving her gifts, and support when she comes running to him heartbroken because the Leading Man hurt her yet again. However, no matter how nice The Nice Guy who Finishes Last is to the Leading Lady, and no matter how horrible the Leading Man is to the Leading Lady, or how many times the Leading Man hurts the Leading Lady, she will never, ever return his love. He usually ends up alone, because, he is, The Nice guy who Finishes Last

In Korean Dramas there is also always something I call 'Korean Timing'. This Korean Timing only ever occurs in Korean dramas. Some exampls are :

1. If the Leading Man is with the Resident Bitch, the Leading Lady is almost ALWAYS nearby to see them kiss/hold hands/talk etc, leading her to feel very bad
2. If The Nice Guy who Finishes Last is doing something nice for the Leading Lady, the Leading Man is always there to see The Nice Guy who Finishes Last try to kiss the Leading Lady, or give her a gift, or hold her hand or something. This will lead him to being angry and doing something stupid, like not give the Leading Lady a gift he bought for her, thus making the Leading Lady feel like the Leading Man does not love her, when in fact he does and is an idiot.
   
3. When the Leading Man asks the Leading Lady if its ok for him to go out with the Resident Bitch, she will always say yes and feel horrible about it
4. If the Leading Man and Leading Lady is about to have a nice, romantic moment, or kiss, or do something of that nature, the Resident Bitch will usually pop up and spoil the moment
5. When the Leading Man is trying to say something about the Leading Lady to a friend, or the Resident Bitch, the Leading Lady willl be there to evesdrop, and always leaves just when the Leading Man is about to confess that he loves the Leading Lady, and the Leading Lady will leave thinking he doesn't love her and still loves the Resident Bitch. Cue crying.
6. The Leading Man and Leading Lady will always somehow be locked in a room or stuck in a tent with each other for a night, usually unwillingly. Nothing will happen, but it is an opportunity for sweet scenes of longing looks when the other party is asleep

Of course, Life RARELY works out the way korean dramas do. So I do think we have a few lessons to learn from Korean Dramas :

1. Girls, just because you are nice and sweet to your man doesn't mean he will change from being a horrible guy to a wonderfully, sweet man.
2. Guys, be nice to your girls and tell them you love them if you love them. Or they'll think you don't.
3. Girls, if you're not comfortable with your man going out with someone, TELL HIM. Or he WILL go out with that someone no matter how many hints you drop.
4. Guys, LISTEN to your girl when she's trying to tell you something. And REALLY listen.
5. And Guys and Girls, sometimes he or she JUST ISN'T THE ONE. If you continue to like him/her, you will end up heartbroken. Sometimes, they just aren't that into you.

And thus concludes my commentory on Korean Dramas. I will love them forever.