Saturday, March 04, 2006

iCraze

Lately, as we all know, there's been quite a craze with the i's. It all started with the iMac. If there was something before the iMac, well it didn't start the craze because i don't remember it. Then it carried it on with the hugely successful iPod and iPod Mini(which i would probably break 5 seconds after buying when it slips out of my hands while i fumble for my wallet to get on the bus) So there's the iGallop, which is possibly the stupidest exercise machine(FIRMER THIGHS! SHAPELIER BUTT! STUPIDER LOOK! SLUTIER IMAGE!) ever invented in the history of mankind. Though once my friend saw some secondary schoolgirls in their uniforms riding it(that itself just sounds wrong) and possibly gave him something to dream about for the next month. There's iMode, some stupid commercial that plays before movies in the cinemas that i can't even remember which phone company its for because i hate it so much. i swear, if i hear I Like, iMode one more time i will scream, take off my pants and pee on the screen.

I'm sure there are many more iSomethings that are in the market, and many more to come. In fact, here's my predictions for the next big iSomething.

New from Hugo Boss : the iSmell

A special new scent that does more than just make you smell good! It makes you smell! Does your girlfriend or wife love the sweaty, sour masculine smell after a few hours at the gym? Or that satisfying run? Or that 5 min walk under the sun? Fear no more! iSmell recreates the wonderfully pungent odour of sweat, dirt and grime, all for jsut $199!

New from National : the iSuck

This vacuum cleaner sucks more than any other brand in the market! In fact, it sucks so bad, we don't even know why its on the market! Never has there been a worse vacuum cleaner. It is noiser than my Plantoon Seargeant, and has less power than an opposition candidate running for the elections! In fact, the iSuck is rumored to be the reason why no one ever remembers that National even made vacuum cleaners. Sold for just $0.99!

New from the old uncle who sells coffins along Potong Pasir : the iDie

Not happy with the the coffins you've seen? Here comes the new iDie! Few things have been heard about it, but last heard when i tried asked about his new product, he just kept screaming "die lah! iDie lah!" while listening to the radio on the latest 4D numbers.

New from OSIM : the iCrap

The new revolutionary toilet bowl that massages your thighs and butt while you shit! Taking a crap will never be the same again. Features include a special antibacterial spray that washes your anus after you're done. Comes with optional tampon remover for girls, and special penis holder for guys. You will never need to hold your equipment when peeing again! All for just $1488!

New from the Jack Neo Education Series : the iNotStupid

Yes, the iNotStupid, rated as the next big thing to the Ten Years Series, here comes the iNotStupid Twenty Years Series! Yes, for the price of your normal Ten Years Seires, you get DOUBLE value! Be smarter than your friend, who's only done a measly ten years of 'O' level papers, do iNotStupid Twenty Years Series!

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home