Live Like You Were Dying

Yesterday, during my 24hr duty, i got an SMS for a polytechnic classmate. Something that gave me the shock of my life. One of my friends from poly just got declared brain dead. After getting brain cancer.

When i got that sms, i was just in shock. I sat there, and starred at the wall. My friend. My 21 year old friend. The guy who sat next to be in class. The guy i skipped lectures with. The guy who copied my homework and my programs. The guy who had a taekwandoe blackbelt. The guy who was super fit. The guy who i graduated with.

Death. I guess i've become numb to it after so long. I open the newspapers and i see death all over the place. Thousands die in hurricane katrina. This person kills that person. People die in accidents, plane crashes etc. In my job as a firefighter, i see death alot. People dying in road accidents, suicides, disease, i've seen them all. So much so that i've been desensitized. Death is just another name, another statistic, another job to do.

Until, of course, something like this happens. And what a wake up call it was. I'm still young, only 21 years old. All this time its been other people's parents, old relatives i never knew and faces in the newspaper i don't care about. This is the first time its actually a friend. And my age, too. As a young person, i have to admit sometimes i get the feeling of immortality. Its like i'm not going to die. Sure, i know i'm going to die someday, but it seems so far away i don't really care about it.

Death.

What a subject. My own mortality. Suddenly, i feel very vulnerable. If a fit guy like that can get brain cancer and die, what about me? Suddenly i am forced to think back on my life and what i'm doing. In a flash, everything seems to be clear. Its almost as if i'm 400 degrees shortsighted and i'm putting on my glasses for the first time. Things i need to do. Things i haven't been doing. Things i'm doing that are totally meaningless, yet i waste all my time doing.

All of a sudden, playing that extra half an hour of warcraft doesn't seem as important as spending that little bit more time with God. Yelling at my brother doesn't cut it as much as talking to him nicely and finding out a that bit more about his life. Getting all angry with my mother when she refuses to let me do what i want is nothing compared to the hours she's slaved to raise me the way she thinks best. Complaining all day about my life in SCDF seems worthless when i'm not starving or struggling in poverty.

And most of all, spending time with the ones i love most seem to top the list. Relationships. That's what make life worth the living. Its the people around me that i love that is the most important. And spending time with them, time that seems shorter by the day. Time, the most valuable thing on earth that cannot be earned back with all the money in the universe. People, who make life worthwhile.

That's my goal. I finally got a wakeup call. I finally learned how fragile life can be. And its time i learned to live like i was dying.

He said I was in my early forties 
with a lot of life before me 
when a moment came that stopped me on a dime 
and I spent most of the next days
looking at the x-rays 
Talking bout the options 
and talking bout sweet time
I asked him when it sank in 
that this might really be the real end 
how�s it hit you when you get that kinda news 
man what�d you do 

and he said
I went sky diving 
I went Rocky Mountain climbing 
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu 
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter 
and I gave forgiveness I�d been denying 
and he said someday I hope you get the chance 
to live like you were dying.

He said I was finally the husband 
that most the time I wasn�t 
and I became a friend a friend would like to have 
and all the sudden going fishin 
wasn�t such an imposition 
and I went three times that year I lost my dad 
well I finally read the good book 
and I took a good long hard look 
at what I�d do if I could do it all again 

and then 
I went sky diving 
I went Rocky Mountain climbing 
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu 
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter 
and I gave forgiveness I�d been denying 
and he said someday I hope you get the chance 
to live like you were dying.

Like tomorrow was a gift and you got eternity to think about 
what�d you do with it what did you do with it 
what did I do with it 
what would I do with it? 

Sky diving 
I went Rocky Mountain climbing 
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu 
and then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter 
and I watched an eagle as it was flying 
and he said someday I hope you get the chance 
to live like you were dying
- Tim McGraw