The following is taken off TalkingCock.com

Apparently its a true story.

True Story: we were sent this email by a TalkingCock reader, which suggests that life in Singapore sometimes is beyond our satirical abilities…

Dearest friends,

hL here. I was chatting on IRC when I came across a guy asking for loans from loansharks. So I impersonated myself as one! This is real and awe-inspiring. It outlines how dumb someone can really be. Anyway this is real, and do inform me if this was posted on talkingcock.com

[Note: Bronx is the author's name online while guy_m is the one who was asking for loans]


[Bronx] yes me
[Bronx] loan shark
[guy_m] ok
[Bronx] yes
[guy_m] i need to borrow
[guy_m] i need to borrow 6k
[guy_m] can?
[Bronx] sure
[Bronx] but u must register, right?
[Bronx] interest goes at 1.8%/month
[guy_m] wat do u mean register?
[Bronx] complex interest
[Bronx] that is you use the formula
[Bronx] (101.8/100)^(No.of months) x Sum you borrow
[Bronx] How would i know where you are?
[Bronx] So you must register, right?
[guy_m] ok,can u tell mi
[Bronx] tell you?
[Bronx] i thought you should be telling me?
[guy_m] how much do i haf to return u in a mth?
[Bronx] $610.80
[guy_m] ok
[guy_m] wat i need to register?
[Bronx] erm
[Bronx] ok so our system works like this.
[Bronx] We have a operation-ready boss who sits on a cloud high above
puffing cigarettes
[Bronx] I'm in charge of accounting; Overseeing and registering members
are my job
[Bronx] Every Loan-Sharking business runs on a system
[Bronx] We're the new-age 'Ah-Longs"
[guy_m] ok
[Bronx] You'll have to register with us to get the money
[guy_m] ok
[guy_m] when n where?
[guy_m] when n where can i meet u?
[Bronx] Include your Name, NRIC, EMAIl, HANDPHONE, ADDRESS, Name of
your family(this includes your parents, siblings and if better, your
grandparents)
[Bronx] Anyway why do you need $6000?
[guy_m] to settlr some debts
[Bronx] but by borrowing money from us, you are going deeper into
debts, right?
[guy_m] i noe
[guy_m] but my friend need tis money urgently
[guy_m] his mom juz pass away
[Bronx] ok anyway you can't meet us just like this
[guy_m] then how?
[Bronx] chances are we'll stumble onto those lame police
[guy_m] then how?
[Bronx] so we're tapping on technology and integrating our tradition
with electronics
[Bronx] We've set up a website solely for such borrowing
[guy_m] so how can i get the money?
[Bronx] Ok first you've to login to our website
[guy_m] wta's the website?
[Bronx] Then type in your bank account and also a custom password
[guy_m] ok
[guy_m] wat's the website?
[Bronx] Hold on
[Bronx] please be sure of all proceedures first before doing anything
rash
[Bronx] Then fill in your particulars
[Bronx] This includes
[guy_m] wat's the website?
[Bronx] Qns 16: How would you want to be punish if you fail to pay up
[A) Get a pig's head B)Getting splashed with paint C)Getting mugged at
night]
[guy_m] ok
[Bronx] it may sound funny but this is real
[Bronx] this is what we call selective punishment
[guy_m] okok
[Bronx] ok first
[Bronx] go to your internet explorer
[Bronx] go to your internet explorer's icon
[guy_m] k
[Bronx] right click and off "Security Filter"
[Bronx] because we're a clandestine network
[Bronx] some net services block us
[Bronx] ok then go to www.eahlong.com ; it is "e ah long".com
[Bronx] Click >New User> Register
[guy_m] k
[Bronx] Ok?
[guy_m] it's an toking cork website leh
[Bronx] ?
[Bronx] Huh?
[guy_m] how?
[guy_m] how?
[Bronx] bluff yu lah
[Bronx] !!
[Bronx] ahha
[Bronx] where is there such a thing!
[guy_m] *** you lah ******. What the ****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!